She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
