I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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