mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize