Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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