that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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