STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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