My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
