Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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