My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
