I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
