Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
