We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
