He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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