The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
