We're facebook friends in real life
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
