Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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