if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
