I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
