Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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