We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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