We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Everyone says I win the strip club
I had to cum in my sink.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
