maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
