some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
