Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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