Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
