My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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