btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Duck Duck Cougar?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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