Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
