I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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