There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
