if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
