Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
