i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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