i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
