Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
