doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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