thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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