K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
