i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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