she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
