There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
