His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize