Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
