her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She's the barista slut.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
