He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
