I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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