Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
