you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
