Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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