Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize