If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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