Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
As shirtless as possible
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
