I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
