I just made out with a guy for $7.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
