Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
