Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
