I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
