is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
