She tied me up with her honor cords...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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