and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
FUCK WHALES
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