Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
