I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize