we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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