1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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