is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
