Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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