I'm jealous of your bromance
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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