also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
